Years of Poems and Spirits

今日通读，读通《道德经》。很有意思。全篇开头最有意思，一言蔽之，“什么事情一旦成了‘奋斗目标’，就会失去它原生的意义”。

Fascinating. Thoughts -

1. Isn’t Chinese/East Asian Buddhism somewhat influenced by Taoism? Suddenly, I have the urge to talk to an Indian Buddhist or a Tibetan one. My guess is their version of Buddhism has a different focus than that of the East Asian version. The one I was exposed to in China is an amalgamated product that may have a localized interpretation of “abstinence from desire”. Or maybe not.

2. How come Taoism didn’t evolve into a brand of philosophical thoughts, instead degenerated into a cult-like sect? Lack of disciples? Apparently, the spark was there but it didn’t sustain a flame. Must be due to the specific context of the cultural-economic reality at that time and space. What was it exactly? Could it have evolved differently?

3. Some of the allegories (if they can be called that) are full of imaginary but lack of logical coherence. Such as the spoke on a wheel or an empty house. What does that have in common with lack of desire?

Now go back to work …

Finally finished reading Ian Frazier’s travel journal across Siberia. Loved it.

I liked “Cold Mountain” a lot, even though I usually don’t get excited with this type of romance-tragedy. For example, I know what The English Patient was trying to say, but I just didn’t feel anything afterwards. Cold Mountain, somehow, is different. The connection to “Odysseus” was unmistakable, and if the impact of that ancient epic was dormant before, Cold Mountain certainly awoke it. I was swept away.

Soon I learned that the title was named after 寒山 the poet. Although I don’t know much about Han Shan (and I still don’t. As much as I admire Frazier, I don’t think Han Shan is the same guy to me as he’s to him. So I just didn’t try), it is enough for me to pick out the Asian sentiment in Frazier’s work. And the Siberian journal is another example.

What I read in the journal was a sense of nostalgia, of attachment to the past (and present) being lost and a slight touch of homesickness. I guess for a popular Western literati, you can’t get more Asian than that. But I really appreciate his angle here: there was a parallel in the vastness of the terrain and the infinity of history. What we consider as “history” today is nothing but a narrow and crooked narrative not unlike the barely-maintained highway threading across Siberia.

Reminded me of a trip of my own. I was in Dun Huang a couple of years ago. ZR and I visited an ancient ruin called “锁阳城”. It was one of the frontier posts manned against the desert nomads since Tang Dynasty. At its peak, the walled area housed thousands of people. But when we got there, it was almost buried in sand dunes drifted south from the nearby Gobi Dessert.

A village girl came to greet us. The ruin was so remote and so little known outside of the famous mural caves, she was as lonely as the half-buried ruin in the middle of the dessert. As we walked onto the once teethed castle wall, a gust of wind whipped up. ZR and the girl stayed behind but I pressed on. At the out-most point where I stood, I could see nothing but an endless span of land that touched sky with a blurred line of horizon. Every here and there, a cyclone danced up, drifted for a while, then faded.

To my left, about less than a mile, was a half collapsed kiln-like structure. It was said to be the stupa of a once prominent Buddhist temple complex. Today, except this structure, there was nothing left. All I found after a short walk around was part of a mummified goat lightly covered by sand under a cluster of desert shrub.

Then and there, I thought I was touching the true, pristine history.

For some reason, a 苏东坡 poem popped in my head:
人生到处知何似?应似飞鸿踏雪泥。
泥上偶然留指爪,鸿飞那复计东西。
老僧已死成新塔,坏壁无由见旧题。
往日崎岖还记否,路长人困蹇驴嘶。

Keywords: 改革歷程，改革历程，prisoner of the state, zhao ziyang, 赵紫阳

赵紫阳 温家宝 1989 6.4 天安门

After some digging, finally got the Chinese version of Zhao Ziyang’s book. The text only PDF version is here (smaller size, easier to read too), and the book scan is here (not how I would normally do it but this is really an important book).

Very interesting book. Will definitely buy one once it is available on the market here.

The recount of what happened in May/Jun 1989 was fairly detailed but nothing came to me as a shock. What fascinated me the most was his reflection on the Reform period pre-June 1989. Despite a nagging feeling that his story might be a little self-serving, I found the following points very interesting -

• Zhao’s portrait of Deng: not the visionary “architect” of the Reform but more of a party senior who had a lot faith in the frontline guys he hand-picked. In other words, I didn’t see a lot places where Deng made the tough calls himself, rather he was largely behind Zhao on some key decisions.  But this relationship is largely confined in areas concerning economy Politically Deng was pretty clear from the start that the students needed to be put down.
• The senior leaders were very direct in their communications. Often I read about so-and-so openly criticized so-and-so in high-level meetings, or so-and-so made self-criticism after others pointed out his mistakes in front of other senior cadres, etc.  In other words, the fractional battle was intense yet quite open too
• On the one hand, Zhao was the tragic hero of the 1989. On the other, he was somewhat responsible for it. His price reform was clearly the culprit of mass discontent that led to the protests. He seemed to be quite aware of it and spent a lot pages/recordings to defend himself

Will add more once I am done with it …